Things change , fatigue comes and goes, nothing is static in life, it seems.

Eleven years ago today, Sacha and I got married, and flew off to go on a honeymoon adventure. We spent an idyllic two weeks in the Aosta Valley in Northern Italy before travelling by train to my sister‘s place in the South of France.

Last week, we sat and watched lots of the UTMB race coverage, seeing runners pushing themselves to the limit around that same area we honeymooned in.

So UTMB & Chamonix are part of mine and Sacha’s shared history: Three years ago, I ran in the inaugural ETC race in Courmeyer, part of the UTMB week. I trained for four months for it but was totally unprepared for the elevation and the technical demands of running in mountains. It was a fantastic adventure, and both Sacha and I fell in love with the area and towns surrounding Mont Blanc. We returned in 2023 and want to go every year.

But that was then…

Those memories are in stark contrast to my current relationship to running and such epic adventures. This week, I’ve managed to run twice for about three km each time, and even that was tough. 

I had an operation last March and since then running triggers some kind of PTSD. I’ve had long term fatigue for 18 months now, and I’m unable to get any kind of training momentum / adaptations going because if I push it too much I just crash for days. Feel fine when running, often terrible a day later.

I do still really love running, my fatigue is improving, and at the moment I’m continuing to try to make it work, though I’m not sure how long I’ll keep strapping myself to this particular rollercoaster.

The odd short run through local woods is all I can do sometimes and adventure enough…

Bikes and Yoga have been my saviour…

In stark contrast to running, cycling feels great and has been really rewarding. I’ve kind of got obsessed with bikepacking and races like the Transcontinental. With my limited time (and energy), cycling enables mini overnight adventures and scratches that itch. I can also just about keep to a mellow cycling training plan, supplemented by lots of yoga and walking, suggested and monitored by my coach, ChatGPT.

The other day I cycled up a trail to a hill in Stanmer Park in South Downs on a fully laden bike to try out my new bikepacking sleep setup. It was a beautiful warm sunny day, but the strong breeze rushed up the hills and cooled me down. I lay down in my bivvy and fell asleep under the trees.

I also love yoga also and start most days with it. I love the classes in Space Studios near me. It’s been a total game changer. It’s a kind of like going on an internal adventure. Incredibly healing.

Holidays with a one-year-old are a special type of adventure.

Two weeks ago we travelled to Tynemouth near Newcastle for a wedding. As we struggled between train connections in London, carrying way too many bags, Baby Violet waved at strangers, as she normally does. Very few Londoners returned her greetings. It was kind of heartbreaking.

When we got to the hotel, it was right next to a long, beautiful beach, and we could watch surfers right from our room. The whole vibe of the area seemed to centre around beach life – mass yoga sessions, runners, cyclists, and surfers everywhere. It was perfect, and I was in paradise. 

On the last day before we left, Sacha caught me looking longingly at the surf and suggested I take an early morning swim. It was a transcendental experience

How much is enough?

Substack is filled with amazing tales of epic adventures, and I admit I’m kind of addicted to such stories, but recently I’ve been asking myself: how much adventure do I really need at the moment? Especially with my limited time and energy. If riding to a hill to doze under trees, or swimming in the sea feels great and healing, maybe that’s fine for now?

And what about taking my new daughter to the swings or the beach? It’s enough excitement for Baby Violet, and increasingly for me also.

Races in the Alps used to be these big, long term life-changing adventures for me. Now it’s great if I get to run 20 mins here, cycle for an hour or two there, with the occasional overnight bikepacking trip thrown in. Plus experiencing the world through my one-year-old’s eyes, in my sleep deprived and often fatigued state.

Currently, such short, fleeting moments in time are quite enough of an adventure for me.